Transcript:
It’s been one week since Tesla revealed the Cybertruck. I was at the event and got to ride in it. I laughed, I cried, I ordered, but one of things I said in my first impressions video was the Tesla Cybertruck looks like it would be perfect for the zombie apocalypse. Well, a few days later, The Walking Dead tweeted about how it would be great for the zombie apocalypse and Elon responded to it saying “the finest in apocalypse protection technology” so I decided to this video and explain all the cool features of the Cybertruck that would make it useful in a real zombie apocalypse. If/when the zombie apocalypse happens, there are really 4 things you need to focus on to survive: Nutrition, Supplies, Shelter, and Travel. Let’s see how the Cybertruck can be beneficial in all of these areas.
Let’s start with nutrition. The Cybertruck isn’t actually going to provide you physical food and water. That’s totally up to you to gather. I recommend canned goods and sour straws mostly, but the Cybertruck offers an ample amount of storage space for your food and water. It can also keep it safe. The Cybertruck’s 6.5ft bed is actually called the Vault because it has an automatic garage style door that can be securely closed at the push of a button. There are also numerous hidden compartments throughout the truck including storage space in both sail pillars, a hidden compartment under the truck bed, and of course there is a front trunk for even more storage because after all all there’s no engine since it’s an all-electric vehicle. We all know with any zombie apocalypse there’s always those “bad humans” who have survived only because they’re looking out for themselves and stealing other people’s resources. Having the Cybertruck’s large amount of hidden storage is great for hiding your food and water from those bad guys. As long as they haven’t watched this video they’ll have no idea where you hide your food and water unless they’re one of the 250,000 people who have already pre-ordered a Cybertruck.
Since we’re talking about storage let’s talk about supplies because it’s similar – you can also use the Cybertruck’s storage space for not just food and water but for weapons and supplies that you need to use and hide from zombies and other human adversaries. But unlike food and water which the Cybertruck cannot physically offer, the truck can provide some unique utilities such as its on-board air compressor. The Cybertruck has adaptive air suspension so it can just tap into that and use it as an air compressor in case you need to air up a tire for example. The Cybertruck also has built-in power outlets for running power tools or recharging devices. Maybe you need to run an electric chainsaw to cut down some trees. And we all know how torturous it is even without zombies, to not have any power so having a truck that acts as a portable generator would be extremely valuable in a zombie apocalypse. And if the cell towers are still working the Cybertruck has a built-in LTE connection and on-board navigation maps so you can utilize that for your escape plan. Heck if the zombies aren’t around and you’re a little bored you can even watch Netflix or YouTube from the built-in 17″ touch display. You can’t survive without a little bit of entertainment right? Another important part of supplies is having weapons. If you’re lucky you’ll have the optional Tesla not-a-flamethrower flamethrower that can fry zombie heads instantly, but if you don’t have that, the Cybertruck itself can be used as its own weapon. You could just slam zombie heads directly onto one of the many angular points, because there are no curves on the Cybertruck whatsoever. Probably the most efficient way would be to straight up drive into and over zombies – just plow right through them, that’s how big and powerful this truck is. In the tri motor version of the Cybertruck that goes 0-60 in 2.9 seconds, you could probably disintegrate any walking zombie in the Cybertruck’s path with its instant torque and solid front end. With a gasoline vehicle if you run into a good amount of zombies you risk damaging the grill and the radiator or engine. With a Cybertruck, there is no grill or engine in the front – just a solid piece of metal.
Speaking of that metal let’s talk about shelter and protection. The Tesla Cybertruck isn’t as vulnerable as a traditional truck that’s made with a frame and body. The Cybertruck’s entire foundation is a 30X cold rolled stainless steel exoskeleton meaning it’s extremely hard and nearly indestructible. It’s made from the same alloy that SpaceX uses for rockets so in this scenario, zombies could literally run into the Cybertruck and hit it with their hands all they want or even beat it with hammers and you’ll be fine. You can probably even laugh at the zombies while they do this if you’re brave enough. And of course if there are any of those human traitors who are trying to shoot you and steal your food and weapons, the stainless steel exoskeleton is actually bullet proof. It can withstand 9mm bullets with ease. The glass that makes up the windows and windshield is actually called Tesla armor glass, and it’s exponentially stronger than normal glass and the only zombie who can break it is the Franzombie who throws steel balls, one of the more rare zombie species. Tesla will need to improve their armor glass, but even now it’s still the best zombie apocalypse glass on any consumer vehicle. And during this apocalypse you’ll want the maximum amount of space in your shelter, and it looks like it could be possible to fold down the center armrest to get from the cabin to the bed without having to get out of the truck. Since the vault is secured by the automatic tonneau cover you could potentially make the Cybertruck your own little bachelor pad that you could move freely throughout. And if you have the Tesla Cybertruck camper mode, oh it’s a done deal. You’ll be living like a king. Heck the zombies might even let you live if you grill for them. They’ll just wanna hang out with you. This truck may also have Tesla’s Bioweapon defense mode that currently exists for their other vehicles in case you need to fend off an airborne zombie virus like in I Am Legend. Last but not least Tesla is known for safety. In fact many people buy Teslas solely because they’re the safest in their class, and I’m sure the Cybertruck will live up to the same standards. If you’re flying down the road at 80 miles an hour trying to get away from a flock of zombies then you’ll want to be in the safest vehicle. You don’t want to be that person who dies from a car crash during the zombie apocalypse. If you’re going to go out, at least get your face eaten off.
Speaking of driving you’ll also need to travel and escape. We all know that traveling with zombies nearby the most important thing is to be quiet. You don’t want to have a big gasoline truck that you have to start up and attract all the zombies when you rev the engine. The Cybertruck on the other hand is super quiet because it’s all electric, and if you haven’t driven an all electric vehicle then believe me when I tell you it’s nearly silent when driving at lower speeds. And even better if you have one of the matte black Cybertrucks which Elon agreed to offer as a color, you’ll be able to travel in super stealth mode without attracting attention from zombies. Another advantage is if you are somewhere with no power you’ll want the brightest lights for maximum visibility at night. For this, the Cybertruck excels with its two LED light bars, a long one on the very front of the truck and a shorter one above the windshield instead of smaller individual headlights. Now you might be thinking “Well if there’s no power then how’s this all electric Cybertruck going to get around?” Well first of all if there’s no power the gas stations will be useless without any power to the pump to pump the gas. However, with the Cybertruck, there’s actually a solar power option that Elon has said will provide 15 miles of range per day OR even better if the fold out solar wings come to fruition those can provide 30 to 40 miles per day. In my opinion this is the absolute best feature for the zombie apocalypse. Imagine the ability to always travel when all other power resources are gone. That’s amazing. But let’s just say your measly old Cybertruck doesn’t have the solar options BUT it is the tri motor version which should be able to travel 500 miles on a single charge. That means you’ll have one of the longest range electric vehicles ever to get you out of scary situations. But what if your Cybertruck is just the single motor version that only has 250 miles of range? Well, the good news is all Cybertrucks are capable of 250kW charging at any of the Tesla V3 Superchargers in the 14,000+ global Supercharger network where you can quickly charge your Cybertruck within minutes. That is awesome. But again, what if there’s no power to the grid? Well, hopefully by this zombie apocalypse Tesla will have fulfilled its promise of installing solar powered V3 Superchargers. With these you will always have power to charge your Cybertruck no matter what happens as long as the sun is shining. Those are all the reasons why the Cybertruck is the perfect vehicle to have for the zombie apocalypse. I guess the only negative is that people will be trying to tag along with you because you’ll have this ultimate food-storing weapon-shelter on wheels and it only seats 6 people so just pick the 5 people you want to live with for the rest of your life, and you’ll be fine. What do you think of the Cybertruck? Is it perfect for the zombie apocalypse or is there something better? Let me know in the comments below.